I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
