I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
