i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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