I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
