you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
