Im at strip club and am horny
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize