Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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