Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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