I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
