Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
