He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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