I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
These tits shall not be calmed
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
