This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
