Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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