I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
