I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
