I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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