In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
