did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
