Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize