if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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