Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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