Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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