You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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