I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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