You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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