the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
