Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
