i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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