i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
