sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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