I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
