I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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