Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
