Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize