So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
