i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When did angry sex become our thing?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
