Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
