I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
