You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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