How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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