Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
