I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
