Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
