I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
