I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize