I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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