Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize