I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
