is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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