we have officially lost it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
