we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
