I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
